I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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