Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
