So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
