haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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