help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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