no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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