Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
