I smell stomach acid.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
