I am puke
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
