well you can't waste a boner
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
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