So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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