Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
you never un-have a 4some
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa