I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
hahahahaha turkey breast
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches