I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
wakey wakey hands off snakey
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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