Yo dont text me then not text me
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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