my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You were trust falling into bushes
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
