Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?