I'm fucking your sister right now.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.