trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I didn't notice because vodka
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.