I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just cut my nipple shaving
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.