We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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