im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize