Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
