How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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