I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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