The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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