I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
it's great music for shaving your balls
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Randomize
