i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I think people are normalizing furries
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
