i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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