he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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