they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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