butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
