It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
