I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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