My liver just broke up with me...
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize