If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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