i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
