So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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