so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize