What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
