One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
