shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
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its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
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I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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