She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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