:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
