Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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