My friends, they love my intelligence
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize