She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
