so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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