Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
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I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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