What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize