Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Randomize
