did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Is Oprah even human
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
