Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
