THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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