Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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