Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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