Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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