I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize