Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
