he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
