I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
