Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
